Dr. Meeker,
I just finished reading your book, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters. My wife gave me the book as a gift. I have 5 children, 3 of which are girls. All I can say is it is the best book I have ever read! I have five brothers and two sisters. I have 35 nephews and nieces. I have passed this book on to my brothers, brother-in- laws, friends and my wife.
You hit the nail on the head in so many ways. I couldn't help but get emotional at many times while I read your beautiful book. I am now purchasing your book on boys!
It is refreshing to see someone take a stance on issues of morality and family values. Truly a beautiful book and thank you for your great work. Keep it up! We need more people like you in our world.
God bless you,
Douglas
I wrote Boys Should Be Boys for several reasons. First, I believe that our boys are being ignored and pushed aside, even attacked. Here's why I say that. The past 20 years have been about helping girls everywhere and anywhere, shine. Get them to finish highschool, go on to college, forge careers and excel at sports and academics. While this has helped many girls, boys have been marginalized, told to be quiet and to stay out of the way. A lower percentage of boys now graduate highschool and college than girls. Many grow up to apologize for having a Y chromosome.
Second, boys are under assault by media and advertising industries. Video games are infused with hyperviolent and hypersexual messages which train our sons (and we have plenty of good studies to prove this) to be more aggressive and violent as they mature. Girls aren't standing in line to buy the new AutoTheft game, it's our young boys, who are consistently the target consumers for new video games.
Third, I believe that boys are incredible. All boys- 2 year olds and 17 year old boys. They are filled with enthusiasm, curiosity and loads of energy. They have questions and look for answers, identify problems and try to define clear solutions. They are pragmatic, sensitive, energetic and highly misunderstood.
It's high time we give them our attention and encouragement. Our boys need us- and they particularly need you men- masculine role models who can teach them that they don't need to compete with women. They need us to pay attention to their hearts. They need us to help them navigate a culture which really doesn't like them very much.
So let's get to it. Let's pay attention to our boys and dig into their lives. Let's embrace their masculinity and grow it, not stifle it. It's time to let boys, really be the boys they were born to be.
Dr. Meeker -
My husband received your book, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters as a Christmas present and has yet had a chance to read the book. Though, on a recent business trip I decided I wanted to read the book even though I'm the mother and not the father. What a fantastic book! We are parents of a 14 year girl (and an 11 year boy) and are finding these years very challenging with our daughter. We have always been protective with our daughter and at this age she seems we need to "lighten up since she is in 9th grade". That it's okay to hang out at the mall in the evenings, go away with friends families we don't know and text at all times of the day/night (I could go on and on). Your book was right on and reassured me we are doing the correct things and need to hold strong. It also helped me to understand my husband, their relationship and why he should continue fight for her. Plus, it helped me believe as mad as she gets with us that one day she will return and appreciate all that we have done (or all that she has not done).
It's an incredible book and my husband will start reading it tonight! How about a book on mothers and their relationships with daughters? Thank you!
-Paige
March 25, 2008 – 11:04 am
Dear Dr. Meeker:
I have just finished reading Strong fathers, strong daughters and I feel I must thank you for such an outstanding book. The problems that the American society is facing regarding parenting in very difficult times are entirely translatable to our country and, as the worried and proud father of a four-and-a-half year girl (a little angel, I must say), I was desperately looking for guidance. You have taught me that raising healthy kids in a filthy society is entirely possible. Thank God I found out about your book (by the way, I bought the American paperback edition, as I did not like the Spanish translation of the title. They have translated it, literally, as Strong fathers, happy daughters. It is not that bad, but I think it fails to convey your message as clearly as the original does).
It is absolutely wonderful having someone around to give us hope and faith in these times of political correctness (which I would rather call outright hipocrisy) and unbridled idiocy. Once again, thank you very much indeed. May you succeed in conveying all your messages to us parents and to the world at large.
Very truly yours,
Miguel F.
Dr. Meeker-
I picked up your book a few days following the ultrasound that verified my wife and I were expecting a baby girl this June (our first) and while I’ve never been moved to contact an author but I wanted to thank you for writing the book. It was informative, terrifying and to be honest actually quite affirming. It’s amazingly rare that I find anything written “for” men that is also written in a way that speaks directly to them. I hope to take the lessons contained in it with me through all the stages of my little girls life and wanted to thank you deeply.
Michael G.
Dr. Meeker,
Thank you for your dedication to write a lovely book. Not only is does it reflect your experience, but it eloquently tells a very compelling story for us Dad’s to live up to. I will re-read your book to commit to memory a number of issues you raised to bring my daughter(6) and even my son(6) to the best of my ability. I will also act as an ambassador to help promote your message to all parents who are raising children.
All the best, in raising your own children to enjoy the adventure of life.
Yours truly,
Jim
January 24, 2008 – 10:31 am
Most of you know that I am a stay at home dad. This has brought me a lot of joy and a lot of ribbing from my friends. Heck all my golfing buddies call me Mr. Mom. I always new I was doing the right thing for my girls but as they get older I wondered is there something else. My mother-in-law gave me a book for Christmas that reaffirmed everything I have been doing and gave insight in to my girls minds. This book is the best thing that has happened to me and my girls aside from their mother.
The book is written by a pediatrician named Meg Meeker. The following is from the inside cover of the book:
The most important person in a young girl’s life?
Her father. That’s right—and teen health expert Dr. Meg Meeker has the data and clinical experience to prove it. After more than twenty years of counseling girls, she knows that fathers, more than anyone else, set the course for their daughters’ lives. Now Dr. Meeker, author of the critically acclaimed Epidemic: How Teen Sex Is Killing Our Kids, shows you how to strengthen—or rebuild—your bond with your daughter, and how to use it to shape her life, and yours, for the better.
Directly challenging the feminist attack on traditional masculinity, Dr. Meeker demonstrates that the most important factor for girls growing up into confident, well-adjusted women is a strong father with conservative values. To have one, she shows, is the best protection against eating disorders, failure in school, STDs, unwed pregnancy, and drug or alcohol abuse—and the best predictor of academic achievement, successful marriage, and a satisfying emotional life.
Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters reveals:
- The essential characteristics and virtues of strong fathers—and how to develop them
- How daughters take cues from their fathers on everything from drug use, drinking, smoking, and having sex, to self-esteem, moodiness, and seeking attention from boys
- Why girls want you to place restrictions on them (even though they’ll complain when you do)
- How to become a hero to your daughter—and why she needs that more than anything
- The one mistake fathers make that is the primary cause of girls “hooking up”
- Why girls depend on the guidance of fathers through, and even beyond, their college years
- Recipe for disaster: the notion that girls “need to make their own decisions and mistakes”
- Why girls need God—and how your faith, or lack thereof, will influence her
- How to communicate with your daughter—and how not to
- True stories of “prodigal daughters”—and how their fathers helped bring them back
Dads, you are far more powerful than you think you are. Your daughters need the support that only fathers can provide—and if you are willing to follow Dr. Meeker’s advice on how to guide your daughter, to stand between her and a toxic culture, your rewards will be unmatched.
I am telling you that if you have daughters this is a must read! I hate to read and I could not put this book down. Half way through the book I ordered ten copies to give to my friend. It moved me that much. That is why I am telling you about it. When you were a little boy you dreamed of being a hero. Now that you have a daughter you are! So buck up and be one! Every decision you make concerning you daughter affects her life. We need to protect our girls from this sometimes cruel world. I am begging you for your daughter’s sake please read this book. If you can not find in our local bookstores go to http://www.megmeekermd.com/ and order it. Come on dads it’s time to be a hero!
January 24, 2008 – 10:25 am
Here's an interview with Meg Meeker by Carrie Gress.
The way a father treats his daughter is a strong indicator of how she will relate to men for the rest of her life, says author and teen-health expert Doctor Meg Meeker.
Meeker, who has practiced pediatric and adolescent medicine, as well as teen counseling, is the author of "Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know," by Regnery Publishing. The book highlights how the fundamental relationship of a girl with her father can affect all areas of her life.
In this interview with ZENIT, Meeker, who also wrote "Epidemic: How Teen Sex Is Killing Our Kids," talks about the profound role a father plays in his daughter's life, whether he knows it or not.
Q: A father is a daughter's best ally seems to be the consensus of your book. While studies say that it is parents who are the key to their children's happiness, what is the unique offering of a father to a daughter that a mother cannot offer, especially in her relationship to God?
Meeker: I think that one of the reasons I wanted to address this issue head-on, is that a father is a daughter's great ally, which today is not only overlooked, but is directly attacked. If you look at the typical sitcom, the father is portrayed as someone who is comical, humorous and just plain dumb, and as though he has something to learn from his daughter.
Research shows that a father's influence builds up self-esteem, helps his daughter to avoid sex, drugs, alcohol, and stay in college. What it is that a father offers is that he carries an authority in his daughter's eyes. This authority is not ascribed to the mother, not that she is not important, but a father's influence is different.
When a girl is little, her dad is her primary male love relationship. When he gives her something as a man, she learns lessons about men, setting a template in those early years on her heart about what to expect, to think, to feel, and know about men from there on out, affecting even her relationship to God, because Christ is a man.
Read the entire article
January 24, 2008 – 10:18 am
Here's an article by Joel Hilliker about Dr. Meeker's book Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters.
“A Note to Daddy,” read the little paper on my nightstand. “Daddy, will you take me on a date on Thursday, please? Love, Zoe.”
The heart melts.
That note reinforced something I learned recently—something I thought I already knew, but the full truth of which is more powerful and exciting than I had realized: that is, just how potent a father’s influence is.
It hit me with greater force thanks to a book I heartily endorse as a must-read for every man with a daughter: Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker.
Read the entire article
January 24, 2008 – 10:10 am
Hi, Doctor Meeker –
On the day my wife and I found out we were pregnant with our first child we went to our nearby Borders, looking for all the books that would teach us how to wait for, and eventually have a healthy child. I glanced at your "Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters," and said to my wife, "If we have a daughter I'm gonna get this book."
A few months after our wonderful daughter was born, I picked up your book, and just finished it. I wanted to thank for writing so clearly about the demands and unfathomable rewards of having a little girl. I found myself tearing up several times, as you described many qualities I've always appreciated in my own father, — qualities I will now try to emulate.
And, your words about just being there for your daughter during all periods of her life, and how eventually she might find someone who'd love her and care for her as much as her father does made me say to myself "I hope I'm that kind of father."
Thanks again, and all the best.
Neal
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