Dear Dr. Meeker,
I bought and read your Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters book, and it has had a profound effect on how I relate to my 8-year-old daughter, and how I try to model ideal behaviour for her.
That being said, I also don't like what has been happening to boys in the Anglophone world (I am an American living in England, and hope to return soon, and many of the same phenomena you discussed are occurring here.) I wanted to let you know that your appearance on Dennis Prager's show the other day has helped me come to a decision about something that's been bugging me for a while.
I currently work in a very lucrative job, at close to the top of the game at what I do. I am not happy in this work as it is clearly not my calling: although I do it well, I don't enjoy it. I have been playing with the idea of what I want to be when I grow up, which is, essentially, in about a year or two when I have the mortgage paid down significantly enough to where my income doesn't need to play into my career decisions. I am also in the final three quarters of completing the bachelor's degree I never finished the first time around.
I have been volunteering as a helper in my daughter's Sunday School class and just last week I was approached to become a "pastoral leader" for a group of kids in the Sunday School when it reconvenes in the new school year. I was approached for this role as there are no other men really involved in the children's program at our church, and they need men.
If this approach was a nudge in a certain direction, your conversation with Dennis Prager was a push for me… Children don't see enough men in their lives, and I think I am going to work on becoming either a primary or middle school teacher when I return to the States. And my wife really thinks it makes a lot of sense for me, too.
I just wanted to thank you for the inspiration you've given me, especially as your work had touched my life profoundly before yesterday. If this plays out as I suspect it will, I'll send you a follow-up in a few years to let you know how I got on.
Regards,
James
I just started reading your latest book, "Boys Should Be Boys." I love it and I cannot put it down. In April we found out we were expecting our 4th child and last week we found out that it is a boy which makes 4 boys that God has blessed us with. Our boys are ages 11, almost 9, 4 1/2 and of course one in my womb. I see raising boys as such an awesome responsibility and a privilege, although I am shocked at the fact that GOD GAVE ME 4 BOYS! Your book is reinforcing some things that my husband and I already do. We do not have cable television, no video games, limited internet/computer, no ipods, etc. I know in my heart it is the right and healthy decision for our boys, but there is such a temptation to believe that now my boys don't fit in. I also don't over do it with sports and being on the go constantly. Thank God that my husband is a strong man in his faith and his masculinity, although we both have been changed tremendously by the grace of God. We've made our mistakes. Your book is an inspiration and I sent out an email to all my mom friends with boys suggesting this book. My sister ordered both your books just now.
When I picked up your book, I skipped right to the chapter on "A Mother's Son." I had been waiting to read something on mothers and sons. It helped me so much especially about affection, love and physical touch. I am doing more of that already. Thank you, thank you!
Not only does your books help us to raise strong, healthy children, it also points out what is going on in our culture today which tells us so many lies. I think your books also help us to look at ourselves and take our own inventory. This is crucial. I think your books are going to help so many people. I am also recommending your books to my spiritual director who also happens to be a Norbertine Priest and a Psychologist who is Catholic.
Dr. Meeker, thank you and keep up the good work. Your book is so timely especially for us as we await the birth of our 4th boy.
I am not afraid, I am not worried or disappointed. It is just a WOW factor for me that I am going to have 4 boys. I am the oldest of 3 girls and I am very feminine myself. It reminds me of a quote by Mother Teresa and it is just how I feel:
"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." This is not to say that I wish other than what I have been given, especially with the gift of life. It is just very humbling that God DOES trust me this much.
Amy
To Dr. Meg Meeker,
I hope this will be passed along. February of 2007 my first child was born! my beautiful little girl. I have listened to The Dave Ramsey Show since 2004 and have followed his financial guidance ever since. One day I was listen to his show and he had You as a guest talking about your book Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters! after that segment I went out and bought your book. I haven't been much of a reader since High School but I couldn't stop reading your book, except for the fact that I ended up giving my copies out as a gift to other fathers before I had ever finished reading it. When all was said and done, I had given 7 books away and before I got loose of the last copy I finished the book. I know you've gotten great comments from other Fathers that feel the same way as I do about your book, but I still felt compelled to let you know that it has been a great inspiration to me as I knew from a young boy that I wanted to have a Family and always hoped for a daughter ( possibly because my mom had 3 boys and always wanted one of us to be a girl ) and that I wanted to try to be the best Father I could be, now I know that your book will help me do just that! I guess the other part of this is that I am a huge Dave Ramsey Fan and over the course of our financial freedom we've only given out 3 Total Money Make-over Books to the 7 Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters of yours and I'm sure I will give out some more in the next couple of years and I suggest it to anyone I can as I have been invited to a Baby Bonding Class at our hospital to give Fathers insight on what it was like for me and ect. The last part of this letter is that I need to get myself a hardback ver. of SF,SD and I want it autographed, And when I googled your name and got to your Web site I saw that I can Order it autographed, How wonderful!!
Forever Grateful,
Brian
What a great book and guide. a must read for fathers who do care. i am a passionate man and father. i believe god has entrusted us as parents with our children(god's also). i truly appreciate your repetition concerning sticking to one's values. it is an uphill battle com-batting today's advertising geared to females of all ages. i was stunned at some of the internet postings regarding dr meeker. seems she has hit a nerve. sounds like a lot of people would rather bash dr meeker than step up to the plate for their children. great book and the most valuable book next to the bible to help me raise my precious daughter into a well balanced self respecting and productive woman. thank you for your work and knowledge.
~Scott
Dear Dr. Meeker,
I just wanted to thank you for your book "Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters".
As a new father to an 8-month-old daughter, I thought I knew enough on what it meant to be a good dad. I was aware that she would one day grow up, and when those teen years came along, there would be that normal friction that occurs with those confusing years. But then I happened across your book, and after flipping through a few chapters, I knew it was a book I had to have.
The topics you covered were not only informative and inspiring, but at times just plain scary. I didn't realize what challenges my daughter will have to face before the age of 8, let alone 15. I didn't know how poisonous this MTV culture was, bombarding little impressionable girls with toxic ideas of what beauty is, its casual ideas on sex and drugs, and how influential young boys can be on vulnerable girls.
One of the most thought provoking and heartbreaking examples I can recall from the book was the fourth-grade girl from a good family who hated her father because she inadvertently came across a violent rape scene on TV before dinner. As a result of that exposure, the girl came to the conclusion that all sex was like this, and her father must have put her mother through that kind of pain in order for her to be born.
After reading that startling passage alone, I realized that there was so much poison out there that could corrupt and destroy our children. In addition, it took me longer than usual to finish your book because I often found myself in deep thought, wondering what kind of father I could be to my little girl if faced with the scenarios you put forth. But it was time well spent. Before reading your book, I felt that being a father was the most natural thing I've ever done. But after your book, I feel more inspired than ever to be the father my little girl deserves. I'm ready and willing to fight for her mind, body, and soul. And I'm ready to be the most important man in her life and her hero.
I'm a full-time father, and I'm proud to say that my daughter is a beautiful, happy, and thriving child. And thanks to you, I will fight to make sure she grows up to be a well-rounded, confident, and grounded woman. It will be a challenge, but she's worth it.
Thank you again, Dr. Meeker. Your book was a godsend, and I would recommend your book to any father raising a little girl.
Sincerely,
Orlando
Dear Dr. Meeker,
I just finished your book [Boys Should Be Boys], and absolutely loved every bit of it! I have 3 boys, ages 14, 12 and 10, and this book is the most resourceful one, that's so readable and interesting. The best book that I have read on the topic of boys, that kept my interest. Thank you for your fabulous advice, so down to earth and real… I've been telling everyone I know about your book.
Sincerely,
Meg
Dr. Meeker,
I just finished reading your book, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters. My wife gave me the book as a gift. I have 5 children, 3 of which are girls. All I can say is it is the best book I have ever read! I have five brothers and two sisters. I have 35 nephews and nieces. I have passed this book on to my brothers, brother-in- laws, friends and my wife.
You hit the nail on the head in so many ways. I couldn't help but get emotional at many times while I read your beautiful book. I am now purchasing your book on boys!
It is refreshing to see someone take a stance on issues of morality and family values. Truly a beautiful book and thank you for your great work. Keep it up! We need more people like you in our world.
God bless you,
Douglas
I wrote Boys Should Be Boys for several reasons. First, I believe that our boys are being ignored and pushed aside, even attacked. Here's why I say that. The past 20 years have been about helping girls everywhere and anywhere, shine. Get them to finish highschool, go on to college, forge careers and excel at sports and academics. While this has helped many girls, boys have been marginalized, told to be quiet and to stay out of the way. A lower percentage of boys now graduate highschool and college than girls. Many grow up to apologize for having a Y chromosome.
Second, boys are under assault by media and advertising industries. Video games are infused with hyperviolent and hypersexual messages which train our sons (and we have plenty of good studies to prove this) to be more aggressive and violent as they mature. Girls aren't standing in line to buy the new AutoTheft game, it's our young boys, who are consistently the target consumers for new video games.
Third, I believe that boys are incredible. All boys- 2 year olds and 17 year old boys. They are filled with enthusiasm, curiosity and loads of energy. They have questions and look for answers, identify problems and try to define clear solutions. They are pragmatic, sensitive, energetic and highly misunderstood.
It's high time we give them our attention and encouragement. Our boys need us- and they particularly need you men- masculine role models who can teach them that they don't need to compete with women. They need us to pay attention to their hearts. They need us to help them navigate a culture which really doesn't like them very much.
So let's get to it. Let's pay attention to our boys and dig into their lives. Let's embrace their masculinity and grow it, not stifle it. It's time to let boys, really be the boys they were born to be.
Dr. Meeker -
My husband received your book, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters as a Christmas present and has yet had a chance to read the book. Though, on a recent business trip I decided I wanted to read the book even though I'm the mother and not the father. What a fantastic book! We are parents of a 14 year girl (and an 11 year boy) and are finding these years very challenging with our daughter. We have always been protective with our daughter and at this age she seems we need to "lighten up since she is in 9th grade". That it's okay to hang out at the mall in the evenings, go away with friends families we don't know and text at all times of the day/night (I could go on and on). Your book was right on and reassured me we are doing the correct things and need to hold strong. It also helped me to understand my husband, their relationship and why he should continue fight for her. Plus, it helped me believe as mad as she gets with us that one day she will return and appreciate all that we have done (or all that she has not done).
It's an incredible book and my husband will start reading it tonight! How about a book on mothers and their relationships with daughters? Thank you!
-Paige
March 25, 2008 – 11:04 am
Dear Dr. Meeker:
I have just finished reading Strong fathers, strong daughters and I feel I must thank you for such an outstanding book. The problems that the American society is facing regarding parenting in very difficult times are entirely translatable to our country and, as the worried and proud father of a four-and-a-half year girl (a little angel, I must say), I was desperately looking for guidance. You have taught me that raising healthy kids in a filthy society is entirely possible. Thank God I found out about your book (by the way, I bought the American paperback edition, as I did not like the Spanish translation of the title. They have translated it, literally, as Strong fathers, happy daughters. It is not that bad, but I think it fails to convey your message as clearly as the original does).
It is absolutely wonderful having someone around to give us hope and faith in these times of political correctness (which I would rather call outright hipocrisy) and unbridled idiocy. Once again, thank you very much indeed. May you succeed in conveying all your messages to us parents and to the world at large.
Very truly yours,
Miguel F.
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