Why Moms Need to Eat More Brownies
Did you happen to read the popular article, “The Mom Stays in the Picture,” by mom Allison Tate at The Huffington Post? It’s a really touching post about how important it is that moms—no matter that they may be wearing maternity clothes a few months postpartum or routinely skip mascara and lipstick—get in the pictures with their children. It’s important that our kids look back on photos and see their moms living real life with them.
Allison’s post got me thinking about my own patients—the kids I’ve heard from during more than twenty-five years of practicing medicine—and I know Allison’s right. If we moms asked our kids, they’d tell us to get in the picture.
Every mother needs to hear from her kids because what they say about their moms is a far cry from what we believe they need from us. I decided to take my patients’ words and use them to create a letter from eight-year-old “Josh” to his mom.
Dear Mom,
I hear you talking about going on a diet, but please don’t. I don’t get why you don’t want to eat lasagna with me and Dad. I wish you would because I like it when we eat the same thing. Eating lasagna together makes me feel like I’m a grown-up like you. Eat stuff, Mom, because you’re nicer to hug when you’re squishy.
I also love it when you let me come in your room at night. Dad hates it, I know. That’s why I crawl on the floor to your side of the bed. I hope he doesn’t hear me. But I want to thank you for letting me crawl in the bed next to you or for putting a sleeping bag under your side of the bed. And the pillow, too.
Our house just seems so big sometimes, and I get scared. It’s hard for me to go to sleep when I’m so far away from you. I know that you and Dad work hard to get us such a big house, but sometimes I wish you wouldn’t. I wish that you could be with me more and not work so hard. If you work too hard you might die and I really, really don’t want that. Every time my teacher reads a story about someone dying or what heaven’s like I get worried about you Mom. So please don’t die soon.
The other thing is, Mom, that I hear you talking to Lisa and tell her that you are sad a lot. Am I bad? I don’t like you sad either because then I feel all shaky on the inside. But since I’m a guy like Dad, I don’t want anyone to know. I’m not supposed to feel shaky inside. So please don’t be sad, Mom. I love you.
Do you ever think about me during the day? Like when I’m at baseball practice do you ever want me to be home with you? Sometimes I hope you do. Baseball’s OK and I like the baseball shoes you got me, but sometimes I don’t want to go. Sometimes I just want to be home in the kitchen with you. What’s wrong with me? I know you and Dad tell me that I’m a fast runner but I don’t care about that sometimes. There’s lots of fast guys on my team. The other day I was running fast to third base and I kept wondering what you were making for dinner. Then I wanted to be making it with you.
You are a really good cook, Mom. I especially love your meatloaf and your spaghetti with those little meatballs inside. But I’m most happy because you are such a good baker. Tommy’s mom is horrible. She made blueberry muffins that he brought to school, and they were terrible. Yuck. But your muffins are great. I like eating muffins with you.
And your brownies, Mom, are the best! Wow! I heard you talking to Aunt Delia the other day and you told her something bad about your brownies. You said that you should be making them different—like from scratch? Why would you scratch a brownie, Mom? The thing is, I don’t care how you make them. They can be from a box, you can scratch them or even buy them at the store. I just want to sit in the kitchen and eat them with you.
Your son,
Josh
~~~
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28 Responses to “Why Moms Need to Eat More Brownies”
I LOVE THIS!
It’s so easy to get trapped in what we think our kids need with out thinking of the most basic thing – us!
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This Thing Dont Lead Heaven…
[...] d tell me that I’m a fast runner but I don’t care about that sometimes. Ther [...]…
We so often hold ourselves to an impossible image we have created in the mirror, while we refuse to see ourselves as our children do: as a mother who is tremendously worthy of love just by virtue of being the mom.
This is so sweet! I love it! Whenever my husband’s on the road, it seems like I end up with at least one kiddo in bed with me. Sometimes I feel like I’m too lazy and give in too easily when he’s gone, but this just reaffirmed that it’s ok to let my little man crawl in bed and snuggle once in a while. After all, there will come a day real soon when he won’t want to snuggle with mom anymore. Thanks so much for sharing!
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Thank you . . . . I needed to hear this today. I’m headed home from work to **BE** with my family. Just be with them, be there for them.
Thank you for the reminder to slow down and be present with our kids.
What an amazing perspective and message! We can learn SO much from our children! Thank you for this important reminder about what is really important in life : )
Dr. Meeker, You always inspire me! This was beautiful and so well written. I do believe in life we are in such a hurry to get everything done, that we sometimes forget to take the time to eat more brownies! Joy
I needed to hear this today. Thank you!
I love this! What a great reminder of what is really important to our children. We so often prioritize the wrong things. Thank you!
Wiping a tear and heading home to eat a brownie with my precious kids. May I never take time with them for granted. Thank you.
very relevant, made me cry x
Just made s’mores in the microwave.
Sometimes it’s hard to stop and think what our children really need and not what society says they need. Too many times I feel pulled that my daughters should be in all these different afterschool activities and such. When it comes down to it, I love when their home.
My daughter started kindergarten this year and every morning she cries. It tears me to bits to listen to her ask to be home. At times she has asked if I miss her. I do miss her and I told her once that I did only to hear her cry harder. Someone told me to not tell her again that I missed her while she was at school. I feel guilty now for following that advice. Tomorrow I will tell her that I miss her while she’s at school, but school is important and she needs to be there.
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The kids in bed thing…so true! They always crawl over me, not their dad! While I don’t sleep as well, sure do love the warm snuggle that comes with it!
Kids do need more time with their families, but it is so hard and its not often a society thing but sometimes a battle between the parents where one wants them constantly in sports and such and the other would like to limit it. I sure wish I could have more quality time with my kids
That letter just warms my heart and makes me just think. I need to get more in the game and just be there. Thank you.
What a poignant letter! Kids including mine enjoys best those things free like sand, bubbles & time. My daughter does love dumplings I make…
WOW, the letter to Mom made me think! I need to be more aware of my children and their perspective of what I’m doing and focusing on.
I listened to your interview with Dr. Dobson, and I know I fall short most days, so I’m praying that God will help me focus on the most important things, and just “let go” of the things I can’t get to. With working from home, caring for a husband and 2 kids, and preparing for an international sibling group adoption(paperwork, fundraising, trainings), I feel stretched thin alot of days, and it’s hard to prioritize.
Thanks for you wisdom and your mimistry! God bless!
Amy
Hmmm. A lot to think about in this post here.
What a wonderful message. Makes you stop and think. Kids grow up so fast. Need to slow down and enjoy more. Thanks
Thanks for the call to refocus!
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This made my heart melt. Kids grow up too fast. I want my kids to look back and say the house may have been messy at times, but mom was always ready to hold and snuggle us!
This is such a great reminder. Sometimes I get so task oriented that I forget to just stop and be with my boys. I’m going to keep this bookmarked so I can continue to be reminded of what my kids really need from me.
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