Mother’s Day Challenge
One of the most frustrating things about Mother’s Days for us Moms is that, we know what we want but we don’t want to say it, so we hope that our loved ones will figure it out. Usually, though, they don’t and we’re left feeling unloved. This logic sounds ridiculous to a man, but, we’re not men. After Mother’s Day is over, we wind up feeling unappreciated, not very well understood and, well, pretty disappointed.
So I have a recommendation. Let’s try to do something really nice for ourselves this Mother’s Day. No, I don’t mean buying ourselves a massage, pedicure or a dinner out with friends. Let’s dig deeper and do something for ourselves that will really make us feel better – for months.
Here’s my challenge to each of you mothers who feels overworked, unappreciated or misunderstood… First, write down all of the things that you feel that you should be. You know, like: nicer, more patient, more assertive, less assertive, etc. We all have our own lists. Then, write down all of the things that you should do. Cook better meals, make more money, clean your house more frequently, spend more “quality time” with your kids. Having trouble coming up with your lists? You’re not being honest. Think about the “other woman” who lives in your heads and talks to you every day. You remember her- she’s the version of the mother that you should be. The perfect you, as a mom. Put her down on paper. Really let it out. Write down what she tells you that you should be doing, where you should be going, how much exercise you should be getting (mine’s telling me I should go to the gym as soon as I’m done) and how your kids would be behaving if you were more like her. Now you’re getting it. Spend some time thinking about her. What does she look like, what does she sound like? She speaks so much more nicely than you do- because she never raises her voice.
After you have done this exercise, carefully read over what you have written. I know, your kids should be in a higher reading group. Your daughter would be dancing four times per week if you had the money. Maybe you need a better job to pay for those lessons. That’s what she would do. Read the list over and over and add to it over the next couple of days.
Now- here comes the good part. Drag your pen to the bottom of the page and start scratching things off of the list. Tell her to shrink. You don’t need her in your head. She’s fictitious. She never will exist because she doesn’t need to. Here’s the best news of all: your kids don’t like her and they don’t want her as their Mom. They want you.
Replace the lists you have made with reality, Your kids want you. They want to be with you, laugh with you and do errands with you. They don’t need to be in a higher reading group, dance more, have a nicer bedroom or a cleaner house. And- they don’t really care that much about your cooking. They don’t care whether you buy brownies at the store, make them from a box or even make them from scratch. Those are YOUR issues. They just want to eat the brownie with you.
So give yourself a gift this Mother’s Day. Recognize that your kids really want you to parent them, not the mother in your mind. Scratch those wicked things off your list and let your kids really have their Mom. That’s all they want. And that’s what will make you feel a whole lot better. Happy Mother’s Day to you.
11 Responses to “Mother’s Day Challenge”
::: Greetings & Blessings to everyone… J.R. here, founder of/ Dream Writers Group of Las Vegas::: Dr. “M”, Excellent,… No, Brilliant!!! Insight, and I am proud to be a member of the “M&Ms “, Meg Meeker Team, and its effort to better our Faith & Families … As a Dad & a Father, of 3 grown daughters…, I have found it easier to be a Dad, as opposed to a Father. ::: Strong Fathers / Strong Daughters::: to be a true Gem and a Blessing to me, on my ever journey as an ::: Improving Every Day Dad ::: Although very taxing and challenging, It’s never too late to be a better a Parent, Mom, or Dad, and when I hear the words,” Hey, Thanks Dad! I love you!… Makes it all worthwhile… Once again, Blessings to everyone, Happy Mom’s day to the Mom’s present & and to the Moms who have continued on, to get Breakfast ready for the new morning to come… J.R.
I love you, Dr. Meeker!
:::Kim Cooper… “I Love You” The 3 best “Heart Words” ever written or spoken… Blessings to you and yours… J.R.
Dr. Meeker,
I cried when I read this, as you have described “Me.” My mother in my eyes was and still is the “perfect” mom. I strive to be like her, to honor her, to maybe make up for the teenage years when I didn’t want to be around her and was too busy with friends. Now, at 44, my mother is my best friend. I strive daily to find the balance between work full-time, two children, and the perfect house, mother, wife, cook, gardener, etc. I want to be. I now know they are my issues, and realize everyday that my son and daughter are growing up so fast right before my eyes-that makes me want to slow down the most.
I first heard you on Family Life Today, and bought your book on Happy Mothers. I want you to know you have made a difference in my life, and I appreciate your words of wisdom. Happy Mother’s Day to you as well.
::: Penny H Sheehan… Great “Heart Words” and insight… And no question a blessing, as you are, to your family… Blessings to you and yours… J.R.
::: Greetings Meg Meeker family team members (M&M er’s) – Blessings to everyone… J.R. Dreamwriter here. Just a thought…Words and the “discipline” if you will, and the writing process of them, I believe, are good and positive Heart / Mind Cookies (I love“Coffee & Cookies” ask my belt Mr.52 just kidding!… 50 actually). Words & Writing, enable us to become better parents, adults & examples to our kids and people by the release of “Creative Expressive Energy” that I believe, we receive as we continue to access, address & experience out life Journey. We are only guaranteed each Blessed Moment we receive and then they become Memories to reflect upon, unable to act on them. We can only Act, when we are In the Moment… Dreamwriters… May I challenge and encourage everyone to write and reply not only the Professional/Heart Words” of Dr. Meeker, but to the heart words of the M&M’ers who comment to her messages… Lets step-up and Act! Write and reply to the Moments before they become Memories.. So, that being said… This Moment, I am stepping up and replying to each M&M’er… and doing my part in becoming part of the overall learning & experience of the “Meg Meeker Moment”. I invite each of you to reply to Me too… Who knows, you may find “Writing and Expression” a Blessing! like it continues to be for me… Just a thought… Blessings to you and yours… J.R. :::
[...] My friend and radio show guest Dr. Meg Meeker taps into this better than anyone, professionally and personally and poignantly. So this year she presents aMother’s Day Challenge. [...]
:::Motherhood | St Anne Center for Reproductive Health…
Motherhood; from Sheila Liaugminas’s “Culture & Politics, Faith & Reason” Blog… I also have read the post and visited her Blog. Although quite taxing as a read I found the content challenging and thought provoking. The American Experience is changing rapidly as we speak and our thought process must change with it to insure sustainability. Not only are our homes and families upside down, it seems America is too…. Very fragile times, we as a free people must tread very very carefully… And as always, making wise choices and decisions is always left to us ( Achilles heel?)… Thanks for sharing, Blessing to you and yours… Just a thought, between Coffee & Cookies, J.R.
I don’t visit my mothers grave because she wouldn’t admit that having me circumcised against my will as a infant was something that I should have been able to choose for myself. Why is it acceptable in our society for women to advocate for circumcision and then be offended if a man grows up and says that he hates the fact he was circumcised. What part of there genitals did they have forcibly removed without there consent. If almost every man who has ever been circumcised was forced to be and well over 99 precent of all men who are not forcibly circumcised choose to stay that way then why do people continue to say this should be a choice of the parents. Circumcision is child molestation with a scalpel. Most men will love there parents regardless, but even if you have your child circumcised because you think it is best for them you shouldn’t expect them to have respect enough for you to visit you when your dead. Even on mothers day.
:::SAM… Thank you for your comment, opinion, and concern. I understand them, and I pray that you find forgiveness, understanding and resolution on your journey. Although my parents have made parenting mistakes, as I continue to do as well, I have learned and found my Parents to be a Blessing. I am thankful and grateful to them for doing the best that they possibly could in their time and it’s up to me to better myself and my kids in our moments. I hope you find the information resources of Dr. Meeker and others, helpful and a positive addition to your journey as I have. Blessings to you and yours… Just a thought, between Coffee & Cookies, J.R.
Circumcision is one of the best reasons to not be religious. People who justify having there childrens genitals mutilated by strangers based on Bronze age fairy tails are only one step away from people who gave there children up as human sacrifices to the sun gods. Religious freedom means the right to believe what religion who want to believe and not to be forced to have your genitals cut for your parents. That is why we don’t allow Muslims to mutilate female children. I see no reason what so ever that I shouldn’t be able hate people that advocat for such as brutal and disgusting practice. People like meg meeker attempt to act like they are sympathetic by saying they think it should be a parents choice to avoid controversy. Unfortunately there are millions of men who hate the fact that they were circumcised against there will but most only speak up in blogs because people somehow get offended at the fact that there are people who hate being forcibly circumcised. People like meg meeker refuse to acknowledge that we even exist. It’s much easier for people to justify supporting the forced mutilation of children if they deny that there are any people in the world that could possibley grow up to be upset about it.