Great Parenting Moments
I’ve decided to chronicle great parenting moments because some of you make extraordinarily hard decisions on behalf of your kids. Let me introduce you to one smart parent.
Peggy is mother to Sophie, who is 19 and madly in love. Sophie is a bright, bubbly college sophomore. Her boyfriend is a good guy and attends a different college. Both kids work hard, are respectful and good to their parents. They should be, because their parents are paying a lot of money for their educations.
Sophie announced to Peggy that she wants to get married to her boyfriend soon. She would like to finish college but her love for her boyfriend of four years is intensifying. Peggy knows Sophie well. She believes that if Sophie marries now she won’t finish college. Peggy told her this, but Sophie said that she didn’t really care. Love is more important than school, she reasoned.
Peggy sat Sophie down and in a loving, calm manner told her daughter that she would only support her marriage and pay for a wedding once she had a college diploma in her hand. If she chose to get married now, all financial support would stop. Sophie and her boyfriend would be left on their own to not only support themselves, but to pay back her college loans.
Here’s where Peggy got parenting right.
She took the hard road. She put aside her daughter’s immediate wishes and happiness and taught Sophie about reality. This is tough to do, particularly when we want our kids to be happy. After all, isn’t each of us driven by the mantra, “all I want is for my child to be happy?”
How many times do we jump to accommodate our kids’ (even adult children’s) wishes because we want to give them happiness? Child happiness has become the beacon by which many smart parents live. Peggy knew better.
I challenge each of us parents to set aside our kids’ happiness and do what is good and right for them instead. This is always the tougher road to take.
What do you think, parents? Do you agree that Peggy did the right thing? Have you ever had to make a hard decision that seemed to go against your child’s happiness?
3 Responses to “Great Parenting Moments”
That’s a tough one. I can remember wanting to “grow up” faster in college. The mom is right in that it’s not really marriage unless you are truly on your own.
I’m having a somewhat similar, but less dramatic, issue with my 5 year old who wants her ears pierced. I think she’s too young. Any thoughts?
Matt,
I recently went through this with my 8 year old daughter. I always swore my girls would be 16 as I was when I was allowed to get my ears pierced. Then she came to me wIth this idea and my husband and mulled it over. I thought “will this sexualize her at an early age?” or mature her her too quickly?” When we came to the answer of no to these questions, the next concern was, “is she mature enough to handle the initial pain and then the ear cleaning in the weeks to come?” We decided yes, and went ahead with it. She regretted it at first bc it hurt, but we made her stand by her decision by not apologizing for letting her do it. She has grown from the experience and takes care of all the cleaning twice per day for the last 3 weeks. We are happy with the outcome. Hope this helps.
This is a tough one. I happen to think that who you spend your life with is more important than a college degree. I think that if they are ready to spend their lives together, it is unnecessary to put it off because of school or money. Not everyone is blessed with true love, so why wait?They can still finish school and get a good start in their married life. I don’t think I would discourage it if they were well intentioned and living a moral and pure life. If they exhibited strength of character in their dating relationship, I would be supportive.
As for the rearrings, Matt, my six year old is asking as well! I’m holding off for now!
Blessings!